Worried you’re using weasel words? Put them to the granny test

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Put words to the granny test and see how they fly.

Photo: Michele Mossop

BENIGN TO FIVE

Being a belligerent opponent of corporate twaddle and management flannel is fun, but it’s sometimes tricky. When a staunch balderdash advocate pulls me up and asks ‘‘Yeah OK, smart guy – how would you say it?’’ (or, more accurately ‘‘You may feel you add value in terms of critically undermining my verbal output moving forward, but let’s dialogue on how you would build efficiencies into the strategic process of language formation in a scalable and strategic fashion?‘‘) the answer isn’t always straightforward.

I’m not a huge fan of prescriptive guides to ‘‘plain English’’ where, for instance, you replace the word ‘‘utilise’’ with the word ‘‘use’’ and, suddenly, all your bunkum problems magically evaporate. (Utilise and use have distinct meanings.)

This makes things tough because people, although they pretend not to, love rules. If you can’t give them a Definitive Guide to Not Sounding Like a Corporate Robot, they’ll gravitate to wherever there are rules, and corporate offices are brimming with them – most unwritten, many unsaid.

We say ‘‘reach out’’ now; it’s more human. ‘‘Touchpoint’’ and ‘‘price-point’’ are on point.